Tamar

ca. 1700 BC

Judah, patriarch of Israel, arranged for a Canaanite woman named Tamar to marry his eldest son Er, but Er was wicked in the eyes of God, so God killed him before he could get Tamar pregnant. Rather than let Er's line die out, God ordered the middle brother Onan to take over and impregnate Tamar on his brother's behalf. But then Onan dropped the ball, or more specifically, he spilled his seed on the ground, so God struck him dead. Now Tamar was a double widow. Judah still had one living son left, but at this point Judah worried that Tamar killed everyone she touched, so he wouldn't let her anywhere near his third and final son. Instead, Judah returned Tamar to her father.

The problem from Tamar's standpoint was that she was now a childless widow, which was probably the most useless thing a person could be in Biblical times. She needed to catch a man who would take care of her, so when Judah went off to a community sheep-shearing, Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute with a veil, and followed him. Judah liked what he saw - or at least, he liked the parts he could see - and hired this nameless stranger to scratch his itch. They haggled a bit. Judah didn't have any cash with him, so he gave her some personal trinkets to hold as collateral until he returned with the money. Then they got down to business.

A few months later, Judah heard rumors that his daughter-in-law Tamar was pregnant. Because this was a grave insult to his dead son's reputation, Tamar needed to be killed with fire. Judah summoned her before him and demanded to know who the father was. Tamar then produced all the trinkets he had left behind as collateral. This proved the child was his, so he couldn't kill her or at least kick her out, as he had hoped.

(It's incredible that evangelicals want to be teaching this story in our schools.)

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